Have you fallen into this Social Media Trap?

What would you like your Social Media experience to be in 2018? I have heard many people share they want to delete their accounts or use it less because it has become a distraction to them, or worse, a negative element in their life. People crave community and attention. Most of all, they want to connect with others. While social media enables you to do this, the indulgence and addiction of platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram has created the illusion of connection while fueling ones own desire for more attention and popularity. The problem with that is when people start to feel frustrated, lonely or depressed due to them *thinking* they are using social media to connect, yet their expectations have shifted from a normal give-and-take relationship into just wanting the satisfaction and pacification of attention and popularity through likes, hearts, shares and compliments.

If you feel like you have fallen into this trap of feeling less and less satisfied with your social media experience, it might be time for you to re-evaluate your reasons and align your expectations differently in order to stay positive.

Imagine being at a party. In person. Would you demand all the attention and get mad if you didn’t get it? Or, would you utilize your social and communication skills in order to exchange energy, and give and take in conversation? Online should not be any different. If you want “likes” and positive engagement, you should be “liking” and dishing out positivity in comments or messages. If you want attention for your business page, you should be supporting other people’s business pages. If you want more engagement, you should engage more on other’s posts, period.

The more everyone focuses on their own needs and desires for attention and popularity, the less everyone will get. Just like the old saying, love is something when you give it away, the best way to gain attention and love in your online world is to give it to others.

As 2018 begins, I would take a moment to reflect a little about what you want to get out of social media, why, and also, set some limitations around your usage. Use it strategically for business at specific times, vs. all day anytime. Focus your energy outward and see if you can practice contributing as much as you ask others to pay attention to you. Most of all, seek balance. Find other activities that help you spend less time online and more time away from your devices in order to let your creativity and confidence reboot.

I hope everyone finds a positive experience for their social media usage. But if you are struggling and feeling like it has become a negative area of your life, I do hope this mini-blog helps you evaluate your mindset, social goals and overall expectations. Finally, never let social media become more important then the real community around you. Behind every profile image and post is a real person, including you, seeking acceptance, attention and love.

http://www.Buzzword-Consulting.com

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Communication and  Expectation 

Expectations – reality = Disappointment. 

Yet, for many of us, despite this, our hearts remain resilient and full, continuing to hope for the best and then expect the best in others, even if logic tells us we shouldn’t. 

I’ve told myself for years to expect nothing or expect less. But expectations come standard with a giver’s heart and seemingly impossibly to let go of as an eternal optimist. 

It’s not that you want to always expect something back if you have given to others, on a petty level. It’s that you expect the best in others and hope they care for you as much as you do for them and that you will be wowed buy their ability to “get you.” 

That one day, someone will sort-of just read your mind and come through for you. Yes, hope and expectations go together. They go together more than hope and denial, as I’ve heard the phrase many a time. 

Having expectations does not have to be bad. It does not mean you are ignoring or denying an alternate truth. It means you have standards and a threshold one must meet to show you they are present and listening to your needs. 

The problem with expectations is when you take someone’s failure to live up to that expectation on a personal level. When you feel so let down that you internalize their reasoning for falling short, as if it was done intentionally in order to hurt you. 
Expectations may always be a red-alert zone for likely disappointment, but it can be helped and improved ten-fold if you learn to open up and begin feeling more comfortable with communicating your expectations with others. 

A main reason others cannot meet your expectations is because they do not know what you expect of them. 

Another reason in some cases is that they literally cannot meet or achieve it. But usually it is the fore mentioned; they do not know or do not remember. 

This is true for marriage and relationships as well as in business. If a person has failed to share what he/she expects and hopes for, then it really is a long shot in the dark whether or not the other person is able to meet it. 

Imagine how much better it would be if a customer told the sales person what they expected and hoped for in the sales process, enabling the sales person to strive to meet and exceed those needs, thus, making certain to close the sale. 

Imagine if your partner told you exactly what would make them feel happy or appreciated. Perhaps it is significantly less than you would  have thought and you could simply fulfill their expectations above and beyond quite easily. 

Imagine if you could make your friends feel supported, loved and cared for, just by communicating and asking what it is that they need from you this week or month. 

But we fail to ask often enough, if at all. We fail to share and communicate honestly with others close to us and suffer from feeling misunderstood or disappointed. 

I do believe in the equation of expectation – reality = disappointment, and there may be many times where this continues to happen. But it does not have to happen as often as it does. It does not have to plague your friendship, relationship or transaction. We can do better, together, if you’re willing to give open communication a try. 

The biggest issue remains that communication is a two-way street. Both parties need to be able to communicate outward and receive. If you are bold enough to share your hopes with another and they are not listening, we are back to square one. 

So what can you do? Help get this message out. Share this blog with those you love and with those people you wish to have a stronger relationship with, free of disappointment, resentment and miscommunication. 

Tell your spouse or partner or friend what’s in your heart and what you need for them to do. 
***Remember, however, that happiness is an inside job and nobody should be responsible for keeping you happy as a whole. You have to set proper expectations with yourself as well. That’s step one. But it IS also okay to have expectations in your life and to expect from others, just don’t make them guess what the expectation is at the same time.

Thought? Feel free to share your feelings on this topic in the comments! 

Written by Katya J.

Buzzword Consulting